Lost that Spark? The Conversation Every Woman in Menopause Needs to

"Valentine’s Day" has been everywhere—red roses at the grocery store, heart-shaped chocolates at checkout and endless reminders that this is the season of love. But if you’re going through menopause, romance might feel like the last thing on your mind.

Mood swings, anxiety, and sheer exhaustion can make even the simplest gestures—like picking out a card or planning a dinner date—feel overwhelming. While the world expects love and passion, you might just be hoping for a good night’s sleep and a moment of peace.

So how do you navigate love, relationships, and self-care during a time when your body is changing and your emotions feel like a rollercoaster?

Let’s talk about it.  The Love Story No One Talks About

Menopause isn’t just about hot flashes and night sweats—it’s an emotional transition, too.

When you oestrogen levels drop, they take a toll on your brain chemistry. One minute, you’re feeling fine and the next, you’re overwhelmed, irritated or just… off. You might feel more sensitive, more anxious or like you’re losing the spark that once made you feel like yourself.

And on  days like Valentine’s, when there’s pressure to be romantic, happy and "on," those emotions can hit even harder.

When Love Feels Different

Maybe you’re feeling less connected to your partner, or intimacy isn’t what it used to be. Maybe your confidence has taken a hit or you’re struggling to recognize yourself in the mirror.

Here’s the thing: Menopause doesn’t mean love disappears—it just means it evolves.

It’s easy to think that if you’re not feeling like your old self, something must be wrong with you or your relationship. But the truth is, this is a phase, not a final destination. Your body is adjusting, your emotions are shifting, and this doesn’t mean you can’t have deep, meaningful connections—it just means you might need to approach love differently.

Forget grand romantic gestures—it’s the little things that matter most. If you’re feeling overwhelmed this Valentine’s Day, try focusing on small moments of connection instead of big expectations.

Quality Over Quantity – Love isn’t about extravagant dates; it’s about being present. Watch a movie together, cook a meal, or simply sit and talk.

Speak Your Truth – Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If you’re feeling off, say so. If you need space, ask for it. If you want support, let them know how to show up for you.

Rediscover Self-Love – Menopause isn’t just about relationship shifts—it’s also about how you love yourself. Take a moment to celebrate your strength, your resilience, and your worth beyond the changes you’re experiencing.

Laughter is Love – Sometimes, the best way to deal with hot flashes, brain fog, or unexpected mood swings is to laugh about it together. Find humour in the chaos—it’s a great way to stay connected.

At the heart of it all, Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance—it’s about love in all its forms. And that includes the love you give to yourself.

Love yourself enough to listen to what your body needs. Love yourself enough to set boundaries and say no.

Love yourself enough to ask for support instead of powering through alone.

Love yourself enough to know that you are still vibrant, desirable, and worthy—no matter what menopause brings.

Final Thoughts

Menopause changes many things—but it doesn’t have to take away your ability to experience love, connection, and joy.

So this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re celebrating with a partner, with friends, or simply giving yourself a little extra care, remember this:

Your worth is not defined by how you feel today. Your heart is still full of love to give—starting with yourself. And this phase? It’s just that—a phase. You are still you.

Here’s to loving yourself fiercely, navigating the changes with grace, and embracing this season of life—on your terms.